by Andrea Buczynski

My mom often asks me, “Where are they sending you next?” It always strikes me as funny, and laughing, I remind her that I am in fact in charge of my own schedule. It’s so easy to desire to shift responsibility to someone else, to say what is true of my life is someone else’s doing. It keeps me from having to face the kinds of choices I’m making day to day. Even in this world’s increasingly frantic pace, I am still the one making choices about what I do.

In ministry circles, there are often mixed messages about our choices. Our desire to serve others and the reward that comes with it, the messages about being selfless and laying down your life, may push us in the direction of being responsible for things that are beyond us. When that occurs, usually there is a lack of responsibility somewhere. For Christian workers, that often lies in the area of self-awareness and self-care. In the pursuit of ministry objectives, we may ignore our need for unhurried time with the Lord, for rest, for exercise, even for meals.

No one else has responsibility for your thoughts, words, or actions. No one else can steward your time or talents or treasure.

No one else has responsibility for your thoughts, words, or actions. No one else can steward your time or talents or treasure. In our organization, no one else will raise your financial support for you. Others can watch out for those things, but only you are responsible for them.

While we need to pay attention in all these areas, at the top of the list that no one else can do  for us is to “watch over our hearts.” Everything else we do flows from the condition of our heart. Let’s consider some of the basic diagnostics for a heart check up.

“Faithful, available, teachable” are the three qualities we always talked about on campus when I was a student. Will I do what I committed to do? Am I available for God to use me? And am I  teachable, willing to learn and be corrected in the process? These three qualities made for FAT disciples—the best kind.

Those three words haven’t vanished from our vocabularies, but they lose their impact when we have been around for many years. We nod inwardly at their familiarity. What do those qualities look like as they develop in the lives of full-time workers? And am I still that kind of disciple?

For definitions, let’s use these:

• Faithfulness—the ability to keep a promise or commitment
• Availability—the degree to which a person is accessible for God’s employ
• Teachable—ready and willing to be taught, the heart of a learner

Teachability and availability are two characteristics of humility, being able to see yourself in a right perspective before God and others.  Humble persons will take God seriously, more seriously than they take themselves. They are responsive to what He shows them in the Word and in their lives. They are obedient to take action on what He wants them to do.  They hear and respond to the promptings of His Spirit. He tests us in these to show us the realities of our obedience and our hearts.

Faithfulness is my ability to maintain my “yes” to Christ and His calling on my life. It is also demonstrated in my ability to say “no” to lesser things. It results in dedication to constancy of affection. It is also the test that Jesus applied to Kingdom living. “He who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; he who is unrighteous in a little thing is also unrighteous in much” (Luke 16:10). Sometimes because we have committed ourselves to serve Him fully, we can think that we have passed the faithfulness test.

The LORD is looking for those with hearts of humility, who are willing to do whatever He shows them to do.

The Scripture says in I Samuel 16:7 that “the Lord doesn’t look at the things that man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” II Chronicles 16:9 says that “the eyes of the Lord search throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” And Isaiah 66:2 says, “This is the one I esteem, one who is humble and contrite and who trembles at My word.” The LORD is looking for those with hearts of humility, who are willing to do whatever He shows them to do.

Another insight of humility is in Romans 11:28-12:8. God, in His goodness and greatness, is the only One worthy of our worship, our love and our service. So a natural response to Him is offering ourselves as living sacrifices, being willing to be completely transformed as He renews our minds. When we acknowledge all of who He is in our lives, we have the freedom to recognize that we are insufficient in and of ourselves. I need Him and I need others. For the work of the Body, God has given gifts to different ones, and we are to serve wholeheartedly in the way He has created us.

If I am aware that I do not have in me what I need to live as a follower of Christ, that awareness should lead to increasing dependence on the Lord. As I am maturing, walking in the Spirit means that I am experiencing the Lord as my Source of life, of strength. His access to me is 100 percent—I’m holding nothing back. I am filled. Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us to “trust in the Lord with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding.” Arthur Pink, author of The Attributes of God, has said that most Christians make their mistake by trying to find in themselves what can only be found in Christ. Is the inclination of my heart toward Him or toward my own abilities?

Walking in the power of the Spirit is one of our very rich and classic messages but can sometimes be reduced to a mechanical version of spiritual breathing. When that happens, the emphasis defaults to relieving guilt more than experiencing a true godly sorrow leading to repentance. As I’m growing, my heart will be increasingly grieved for offending the Lord by my sin. My desires will be more about Him than about me.

Mother Teresa said, “If you are humble, nothing can touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know who you are.” It means I can live life with nothing to lose. It means I can take steps of faith despite fear. II Corinthians 4:7 says, “We walk by faith, not by sight.” That means that when we make decisions to move forward, we do so not knowing the outcome.  I love the example of Peter stepping out of the boat in Matthew 14. I don’t think he had any idea what was going to happen; he was just intent on responding to Jesus.

“If you are humble, nothing can touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know who you are.” – Mother Teresa

The Spirit-filled life teaches us that it’s all about yielding control. We have Jesus’ example in Luke 22:41-42, as He was praying in the Garden for the Father to remove “this cup” from Him. “Yet not My will, but Yours be done,” was His prayer. In Galatians 2:20, Paul writes, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me…..” And later in II Corinthians 5:14-15 he again writes, “He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.” In fact, one of the greatest heart issues for someone whom God will trust with His agenda is a person’s willingness and ability to act on what the Lord says rather than relying on one’s own judgment. Here again we can come back to the idea of what kind of access God has to my heart, and what kind of teachability I demonstrate in response.

Walking in the light—I John 1:5-9 gives us a great picture of giving God access to speak to our hearts. Will I bring into His light whatever attitudes, emotions, longings, aspirations, struggles and sins I have in my heart? Will I let Him teach me and guide me into His truth? It is that kind of humble, teachable heart that the Lord wants to fully support.

John 1:14 and 17 say that Jesus is full of grace and truth. We don’t have the same fullness of grace and truth that Jesus does. He has both in equal measure. Often we have one that we prefer. Some of us are “grace” people, and some of us are “truth” people. Usually we know which we are.  If you’re not sure, ask a friend to tell you. To be growing in both grace and truth means that I am able to love people in the midst of their failures, let people know that I am لـ them even when I disagree with their ideas, and talk with them about difficult topics.

These heart realities deserve some time and reflection.

• So, still faithful available, teachable?
• Humble, dependent?
• Filled with the Spirit?
• Walking in the light?
• Growing in both grace and truth?

The answers to those questions give us insight to our own hearts. The answers to those questions also point to how much freedom I have to see where I am over-functioning or under-functioning. I can face those things that I would rather avoid when my heart is at rest in the Lord. I can begin to make changes to become healthier once I see what is true about my own heart and situation.

My mom always asks that question about where I’m going next because she loves me. Sometimes, her observations about frequency of travel or my health prompt me to take a closer look at how I’m doing. The condition of my heart is something only I can bring to the Lord. It’s worth taking the time to self-assess and see where more attention may be needed.