by Dr. Keith E. Webb

As a coach trainer, I am frequently asked what’s the difference between mentors and coaches. Are people referring to the same thing? There are significant differences between mentoring and coaching and we need both.

Note: in this article, we will refer to the person being mentored or coached as a “student”, regardless of their age.

Mentors Teach

I’ve had many mentors over the years. Gary Mayes is one who has mentored me on and off over 15 years. At several turning points in my career, I’ve benefited from Gary’s experience and guidance. He shared his own journey and advised me on my own. His help was invaluable.

Definition: Mentoring is a relational process in which a mentor, who knows or has experienced something, shares that something (primarily wisdom or life experience, but also information) to someone else, in such a way that it produces learning and growth.

There are 3 main points in this definition that are helpful in comparing mentoring to coaching:

• • The mentor has wisdom or experience that the student wants or needs.
  • The mentor shares their wisdom or experience with the student.
  • The purpose is the learning and growth of the student.

The key concept is that mentors advise.

Difficulties in mentoring relationships happen when:

• • The mentor becomes too attached to their own role as advisor, which keeps the other person stuck in a student role.
  • The mentor does not have a good answer… but they give one anyway to be “helpful.”
  • The mentor’s wisdom or experience are not what the student really needs.
  • The student’s personality and skills are very different from the mentor, so they must handle the situation differently than the mentor would.

Now, let’s take a look at coaching.

Coaches Ask Questions

When I lived in Japan in the 1990s, I sought out mentors to help me design a strategy to effectively begin new churches. My Japanese partner and I interviewed dozens of experienced people. They each shared their experience and gave us their advice. The trouble was, there was something missing from each person’s strategy that hurt their results.
The question that puzzled us was, “If no one knows, then how do we learn it?” That’s when we discovered coaching.

Definition: Coaching is helping people to improve their performance by asking insightful questions and providing meaningful feedback, based on observing their activities and results, and then helping them to create plans to achieve their goals.

There are three big points in this definition that are helpful in comparing coaching to mentoring.

• • Coaches ask questions and give feedback, they do not teach or advise.
  • By listening well and asking good questions, coaches lead the other person to think about things in new and different ways.
  • Solutions do not come from the coach, they come from the other person’s own creativity.

The key concept is that coaches ask questions. They prompt new thoughts and creativity which lead to solutions that can go beyond the experience of either the coach or the student.

Difficulties in coaching happen when:

• • The coach has specific knowledge or experience that the student wants to learn (which would be mentoring).
  • The coach is not skilled at asking questions and encouraging thinking.
  • The coach gives advice instead of asking questions.
  • The student expects advice and answers rather than help in coming up with their own.

Mentors and Coaches Use Similar Techniques

The reality is, mentors sometimes listen and ask questions, and coaches sometimes give advice. In practice, there is a large overlap between these two leadership functions. Yet, they are very different approaches to helping people.

When to coach:

• • When you don’t have good answers, and sometimes even when you do.
  • When the student needs to learn how to create their own solutions.
  • When the student has a lot of experience in the topic at hand.

When to mentor:

• • When you have knowledge, wisdom, or experience that lines up well with the student’s needs.
  • When the student is learning a brand new skill.

We need both mentoring and coaching. Knowing the difference and being able to do each will expand your leadership effectiveness as you work with people in different ways according to their needs.

Adapted from this Article

Dr. Keith E. Webb is President of Creative Results Management. He helps busy leaders multiply their impact. Keith is the author of several books including The COACH Model for Christian Leaders.